Burlesque (2009)

I believe it was Jean Luc Godard who said the best way to criticize a film is to make another film. In the case of Burlesque, that film has already been made, so I only have to point in the direction of Moulin Rouge.

Moulin Rouge earned an Oscar nomination for director Baz Lahrmann. And that's the biggest difference, Because Burlesque has Steve Antin and its writer-director, and he's in over his head.

And that's the basic problem with Burlesque. It has moments of great entertainment, and dialogue that inspires groans. What it lacks is someone with a unifying vision, a grand sense of the film.

For example, the film's opening is some bar in Iowa, and then we see the main character move to LA, look for a job, get a cheap hotel room, and exactly none of this is compelling. The film should have opened with her entrance into the burlesque hall where most of the film takes place, because that is when the film gets going. But by then 7-8 minutes have been wasted. A better director would have known that.

And the film has some elements. Christina Aguilera is OK as an actress, but she is a performer with few peers -- especially that voice. Her performances inspire awe. Her dialogue scenes have the audience wanting another performance, not really caring what happens to her character.

Cher is, well, Cher. She is an icon. But even she doesn't really know what to do with the worn plot of her about to lose the club due to high bills, and if she would only take the nice offer the rich man is making. I would have cut the subplot out entirely, including the ex-husband played by Peter Gallagher, who spends the entire film whining about bills, and nothing else.

Antin also doesn't seem to know what to do with his virtues. Stanley Tucci does get plenty of screen time of Cher's oldest and dearest friend, and he's priceless. But he also has Alan Cumming, and barely in the film. Dude, it's a musical! It's Alan Cumming! How do you not give him at least one big number.

I love musicals. Probably more than most people. I was expecting a glorious guilty pleasure. But the film's a mess. Frustrating, because there was enough good elements for a really enjoyable picture, Leaving the picture, I felt the frustration more than the entertainment. That's not the way I want to leave the theater,

Grade: C