I thought about just copying portions of other reviews and cutting and pasting them into a review of Battleship. Because that would be an accurate way to describe the experience of watching Battleship. Every moment in the film seems to be taken from somewhere else.
This is especially deadly in the first 45 minutes when there is no action. So we have to spend this time with character development, but these characters are not worth spending time with. You know what? I was writing a description of the stupidity but I deleted it. Why should I analyze this when there was clearly so little thought put into it?
This is an attempt to do to a board game what Transformers did to a toy. But the problem is there are no characters in the game, and no easy way to develop this into something worth watching. It's a two hour commercial.
So a stupid plot involving aliens which never makes any sense -- the aliens are there so we can bomb them -- is put into this project. Nothing works. It just lies there, with no rooting interests, no action of note, and nothing to recommend. Grade: D-
Saturday, July 21, 2012
The Gong Show Movie (1980)
As Gene Kelly says in Singin' In the Rain, "Dignity, always dignity." So in that spirit, my first movie review post in months, I go to Chuck Barris' film The Gong Show Movie, which is what I always think of when I think of dignity.
The Leonard Maltin Guide says of this film: "Barris created a bizarre TV show which belongs in a time capsule, but this movie ... belongs in the trash bin." I actually disagree with both parts of that statement.
I have mixed feeling about the old TV show. It certainly had some moments, but I would not say it belongs in a time capsule. Its an odd thing: a talent show which didn't seem overly concerned with being a talent show. It seemed more interested in strange than entertaining. In some ways, it shows, more than the current reality TV show boom, just how far some people will go to get on TV.
So how to you turn that into a great film? You don't. You can't. But this film probably does as good a job as possible. When Barris and cowriter Robert Downey sat down to try and capture the Gong Show as a film style, they hit on the idea of Barris, playing himself, would be beset in every part of his life with people wanting to be on the show.
The most inspired stretch is when a contestant collapses after Barris has him repeat his act on show over and over. Barris feels guilty and goes to visit the contestant in the hospital, where the contestant auditions his new act while in his bed. Barris, concerned, goes to the contestant's doctor. The doctor responds by audtioning his act.
And so on. It's not great cinema, but it isn't boring. Grade: C
The Leonard Maltin Guide says of this film: "Barris created a bizarre TV show which belongs in a time capsule, but this movie ... belongs in the trash bin." I actually disagree with both parts of that statement.
I have mixed feeling about the old TV show. It certainly had some moments, but I would not say it belongs in a time capsule. Its an odd thing: a talent show which didn't seem overly concerned with being a talent show. It seemed more interested in strange than entertaining. In some ways, it shows, more than the current reality TV show boom, just how far some people will go to get on TV.
So how to you turn that into a great film? You don't. You can't. But this film probably does as good a job as possible. When Barris and cowriter Robert Downey sat down to try and capture the Gong Show as a film style, they hit on the idea of Barris, playing himself, would be beset in every part of his life with people wanting to be on the show.
The most inspired stretch is when a contestant collapses after Barris has him repeat his act on show over and over. Barris feels guilty and goes to visit the contestant in the hospital, where the contestant auditions his new act while in his bed. Barris, concerned, goes to the contestant's doctor. The doctor responds by audtioning his act.
And so on. It's not great cinema, but it isn't boring. Grade: C
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